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Monday, November 13, 2006

Song of Lonely


This book is called "Song of Lonely"... another masterpiece by a Taiwan novelist - Hiyawu...
I bought this book few days ago, and also, finish reading it few days ago... Hiyawu said that when he finish wrote this book, He feel "afraid" and "joyful".... kinda confusing isn't? He say, the "afraid" part is that he feels he reveal too many of himself, th REAL him in this book... this make him feel insecure...When a novelist is writing some of his secrets, he needs alot of courage to do that, but unluckily, he's not that kind of brave person, so he feel afraid... but at the other side, he feel "joyful" because he dare to take the first step, to reveal those secrets which lives inside his heart, he feels that when he finish wrote this book, the first sun ray which shine through his window are different from the other days... feel fresh and new... ^_^
To me, after I read this book, honestly, I do feel lonely... Very lonely.... Those lonely feelings are like bursting out from the deepest of my heart, conquering my mind, my thoughts, my perspectives and everything of me... How many people actually do admit that they're lonely? How many people do really reveal their loneliness in them? In this world, everyone cover up their loneliness by homework, work, housework, and every excuses that they can find around them, just to escape from admit that actually they're lonely... Don't get me wrong, the lonely which I refer to is the strong feelings that you'll cry whenever your heart start to realise it, not that one which cannot satisfy from sex they have or friends they have... Alone doesn't mean Lonely... Lonely doesn't mean you're not alone....
Have you ever try that you're laughing with your friends, but yet you feel that those laughters can really fill your heart, your heart still have something missing? Have you ever try to stand in the middle of the road, start to looking at the sky and feels that no one in this world know anything about you? Have you ever try to say something to your friends but still you couldn't find any words that is suitable to describe the feelings which lies deep inside your heart that you swallow all those words you wanna say to your friend? Have you ever sit at the corner of your room during evening, lights off, you put your knees in front of your chest, and started to looking outside of the window, feel very helpless that you wanna cry? These are just some lonely expressions which is so undescribable but yet so REAL...
Loneliness is not something that can be share among friends, lovers or parents... It's just a very special feeling which belongs to you, yourself, alone... Only you're the one who can truly understand the loneliness of yourself, others can't... People around only can try to understand, try to say some good words to make you feel better, but they can't feel what you feel - lonely. In every aspects, there's an existance of loneliness... In parent-child relationship, in friendship, in love... There's loneliness inside them... Maybe you'll say, I have everything I need, a pair of good parents, a bunch of good friends and a very understanding and caring lover/partner... but you know what? You're just trying to cover-up the loneliness inside you... There's nothing can be describe as perfect... Same as human, people can't be 100% perfect, you're just lying to yourslef that you're OK and you don't feel lonely... But when sky is in black colour, the city starts to sleep, people around you start to disappear, the true feelings from your inner heart starts to tell you how it feels... It feels Lonely~
Probably you'll start to question me: What's the point of this post? I just wanted to tell you, Loneliness can't be share, I just try to spill out all those loneliness inside my heart, but still, the loneliness inside my heart are not reduce... Just become stronger... Maybe I just try to search for someone who admits that they're lonely too... and they agree about what I say about lonely... that's all....

6 comments:

KaedE =D said...

YA!! the blue colour part i also got try/feel b4!! makes me wanna die!! (but of coz won't suicide or torture myself coz it's horrible ^^")

Kei said...

EHH? APALAH NOW I ONLY KNOW CAN PUT COMMENT. >_>

=::~+Reiko+~::= said...

hahahahahaha!!! Kei now you only know ka???? hahaha
Ya, kaede... i think alomost everyone felt before.... haihz....

kaede said...

Kei: hahahaah stupid =X

=::~+Reiko+~::= said...

LOL!!! you scold your sis stupid ar? XDXDXDXDXD

kaede said...

haha ya ^^ <-Lol