Saturday, March 7, 2009

Ground Zero

This is MY PLACE and I can RANT about just ANYTHING I WANT!!!!!!!!

Sighs... Feels tired mentally and physically these few weeks. Can't really find a motivation or something to keep me high in spirit.

I have lotsa lotsa lotsa undone task this moment.
- wash clothes
- hang clothes
- sweep floor
- mop floor
- tidy up the room
- clean possibly EVERYTHING in the room and the house
- do phone coverssss... Like 4 and a 1/2 of them waiting me now? Sighs~
- Pray for the online business to be better
- Everyday 24/7 hope my boy doesn't become cranky, can be easily set down...
- Possibly anything, anytime.

Ah~! Yes, another thing that bothers me till death - my very ill, bad temper. I'm so easily get angry these days, or to be more accurate - these months. And I only show true colours to my family members include the new member - Kok Bun. (Not Xuan Xuan la of course~ =_=")

I think he's getting more and more tired of me perhaps? I don't know... But recently we almost have an argument/fight/cold war each and every single day... At this moment, when I think of it, these memories makes me feel sad...

But I just can't cool down myself when come to face the situation. I really can't take control of myself. The blood seems rush up from my adrenalin to my head and suddenly everything just burst out! Is this somekind of illness? Haihz~

I'm getting ugly~ X_X

Met with my Japanese teacher this Tuesday. We make an appointment to meet at Times Square actually. But with my current financial status, Bun wasn't in the mood of going anywhere in this world! I was like o_O""" I promised them and now I gotta give up? Gosh~ I sound so irresponsible.

I told Qi my situation frankly without any doubts cos I know she'll understand. And yes, thanks for her understanding, poor me can stay at home. That particular moment, I really left like RM20 only!? Wow~ Hard to imagine... the POOR-ness...

POOR can definitely make ones shed his/her tears like rain. I really, really can't imagine how life is with alot of hard cold cash in pocket/bank. Especially recently I'm following news of Arissa Cheo a.k.a Arissa Luna, the one they say Dawn Yang clone her face. Really, she was rich! I mean her parents was.

The level of richness is one unimaginable. Driving Aston Martin, Living at States, holding designers handbags, designers accessories, clothings, vacation at various famous place on earth, not even bother whether working or not. Clubbing, party all time. Wow~ Really is born with gold spoon in her mouth, full time princess? Some people don't even have money to buy food. How unfair it is...

Anyway, I still manage to met my sensei though. He come to Setapak! If I'm not mistaken, that day was the day KL kena flash flood. Scary~ Luckily they didn't kena flood or something. If not, I'll feel very very very sorry~

Sensei gave me the feel like he's like my big brother? Cos he gave really good advices in life. I still remember last time when I run out from my house and stayed at Kei's house for a few days, I called him and we meet up and talked about this issue. He's the one who advice me to go home. Explain all kinds of perspective, look from different angle. Without him, I'm so helpless that time.

Hontouni Arigato Gozaimasu! Sensei~ T_T

Things weren't bright for me these days. I keep looking at the dark side of life. Nothing seems to give me hope. I can't see how my future is going to be like. Yikes... Can you feel my fear of grabbing nothing in life?

I wanted to achieve alot of things. Deep inside my heart, I have a lot of lust/love/ambition... But my present situation is the stopage to everything I dream for. What can I do to make all things to be done perfectly? A responsible mum with dream achieved. Do you think I'm joking? Me myself does.

Life isn't going to be bright all the time. All I have to do is to cool down, plan a good plan ahead and wish for some luck!

No comments: