Saturday, November 21, 2009

Pride and Prejudice

I find that people like to judge me before they know me well.

I wonder is it something to do with my face (for being bad luck/ugly/ugly chubby or whatsoever) or I'm that unlucky all I attract are prejudices. This often happens and the first time it happened was back at my primary school.

I am never a popular kid at school. NEVER! Not even during my high school period. People dislike me secretly even though they're smiling at me when we meet as if they don't have any issue against me.

This is really get on my nerves and I wanna shout at them:

I had bitter times at primary school as I'm in the 1st class/ best class of the grade but I'm not one of the brightest in class. People around me are all like smartest of the smarts and all they're discussing are homeworks, books, homeworks, books....

While all the time I'm thinking about basketball, Sailor Moons, Japanese, lyrics, idols etc.... I never study hard to maintain my score to stay at the best class of the grade. It just happens naturally. I never have the urge to pursue the 1st place in the class too.

I don't wanna compete with them to be the best, I just wanna be myself and be happy. That's what I'm doing. But why are these people seeing me in the bad way? Did I offend them with what I'm doing?

I really have no idea about it.

Luckily I have two of my bestie to accompany me through these bitter times. Other girls talk bad about me, asked them to leave me and don't be my friend but two of them insist to befriend with me.

We talk about idols, sing popular english songs in class, learn Japanese from bits to bits, do cross stitching while teacher is teaching in front and even perform together (lousy one of course). They show me what friendship is at that young age.

Thanks to them I enjoyed my final primary school times. I have great memories about them until today and surely I will remember them and the good times we had together for the rest of my life.

But there comes another turning point of my life - Secondary school period. A whole new place with all the strangers I've never met before.

Got into this class, saw one of my former primary school classmate - J. We sat together but I'm not sure deep down inside he likes it or not. He didn't talked much to me. We just keep on doing homeworks all the time. I get good results for the 1st exam in secondary school. All thanks to my silent neighbour.

Finally, I got bored. I wanna meet some new friends and I found that there's some fun people in my class!!! We get along in such a short period and we did crazy stuffs! Slowly I'm no longer sitting with J and decided to sit closer with my bunch of new friends.

Of course, my results start to go down hill but who cares???? As long as I'm happy, result doesn't mean anything to me. (Ok, I lied. It mean something but just not that important... My friends are the 1st priority to me then only result's turn.)

I met some wonderful friends that we continued our friendship until today. I promised myself if I ever meet some beautiful people that gave me beautiful friendship like what I've experienced with during my primary school period, I will cherish this friendship so much I will try my best not to let it end just like that.

I guess I am lucky to have these beautiful friends that are with me no matter sunny or rainy days.

Some people tell me that I look arrogant. Yes, I admit I LOOK arrogant but that is just a LOOK! I can't change my look can't I? Or do you want me to go for some plastic surgery so that I can have a forever smiley face even though I have no emotion or just plain blank in mind?

And the best is, you people tend to judge a person's personality + thinking based on their looks. BRAVO! What a good thinking module you have! FUCK YOU!!!

Did you know you made me feel really bad as if I'm not a worthy person to live in this world at all when you're gossiping about me? Did you know that your prejudice sometimes really made me hate myself? Did you know that you are not suppose to judge a person by just look at him/her, or just talked a bit with that person and then act like you know well about that person?

BULLSHIT!!! You know NOTHING about me, but you JUDGE ME! This is totally UNFAIR.

I don't judge people. I don't judge people by how they look/dress/act/talking style because I know this is unfair to that person and there's always something we don't know about a person.

To be frank, I don't even judge my best friends. I won't tell others that Kei is this kind of girl or Hana is that kind of girl this this that that... Because I know what I see/hear/know is not the whole picture.

We choose what we want to see, what we want to hear, what we want to know and ignore the rest. Such is human. So, are you sure that you know the whole story and you wanna be the tale teller?

If you take a sip from a cup of coffee and dislike the taste, don't tell others that it's a cheap coffee. It's just because you don't know how to appreciate it. Just let others taste it, it might be their cup of coffee.


Reiko The Rainbow Girl said...

I hear you and I been through it. Maybe they can't have what you have. Btw, cute baby! ;)

Reiko The Rainbow Girl said...

Maybe they don't understand....
Anyway, Thanks :)